Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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