And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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