My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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