she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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