when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
