Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
