You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
