There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
