your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
