it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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