im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
