you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
