woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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