It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
