just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
