I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Even my vagina gasped.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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