I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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