Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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