I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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