My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
