I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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