Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
