Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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