come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
