i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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