love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize