i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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