Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize