There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
