I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just pee around me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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