also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
