Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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