you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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