they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
