are you still at the devil's house?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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