I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
