We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
