If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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