Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
