I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize