it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
