we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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