Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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