That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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