I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
