Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Pooping to opera.
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