He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
