Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
