"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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