i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
