She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
