yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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