so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
