i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just pee around me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
