I feel great
I just peed on a car
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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