I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
