the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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