i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
