after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
