Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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