I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
