If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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